Michael: Eleanor? Come on in. Hi, Eleanor. I'm Michael. How are you today?
Eleanor: I'm great. Thanks for asking. Oh, one question. Where am I? Who are you? And what's going on?
Michael: Right, so, you, Eleanor Shellstrop... are dead. Your life on Earth has ended. And you are now in the next phase of your existence in the universe.
Eleanor: Cool. Cool. I have some questions.
Michael: Thought you might.
Eleanor: How did I die? I... I don't remember.
Michael: Yes, um... In cases of traumatic or embarrassing deaths, we erase the memory to allow for a peaceful transition. Are you sure you want to hear? All right. So you were in a grocery store parking lot. You dropped a bottle of something called "Lonely Gal Margarita Mix for One". And when you bent down to pick it up, a long column of shopping carts that were being returned to the shopping cart collection area rolled out of control and plowed[move in a fast and relentless way] right into you.
Eleanor: Oof. That's how I died?
Michael: No, sorry, there's more. You were able to grab on to the front of the column of shopping carts. But it swept you right out into the street, where you were struck and killed by a mobile billboard[a display for advertising on the sides of a truck] truck, advertising an erectile dysfunction pill called "Engorge-ulate". Funnily enough, the first EMT[an Emergency Medical Technician, who is trained to provide emergency medical services for a patient at the scene of an incident and while taking the patient by ambulance to a hospital] to arrive was an ex-boyfriend of yours...
Eleanor: Okay, that's... I get it. Thank you.
Eleanor: Um... So, who was right? I mean about... all of this?
Michael: Well, let's see. Hindus are a little bit right. Muslims a little bit. Jews, Christians, Buddhists... Every religion guessed about 5%, except for Doug Forcett.
Eleanor: Who... Who's Doug Forcett?
Michael: Well, Doug was a stoner[a person who habitually takes drugs, especially marijuana] kid who lived in Calgary during the 1970s. One night, he got really high on mushrooms. 그냥 "mushroom"이라고 하기도 하고, "shroom" 또는 "magic mushroom"이라고도 하는데, 환각을 일으키는 버섯을 말해요 And his best friend, Randy, said, "Hey, what do you think happens after we die?" And Doug just launched into[begin to say something enthusiastically] this long monologue[a long speech by a single speaker] where he got, like, 92% correct. I mean, we couldn't believe what we were hearing. That's him, actually. Right up there. He's pretty famous around here. I'm very lucky to have that.
Eleanor: So... Maybe my biggest question. Am I...? I mean, is this... Or...
Michael: Well, it's not the "heaven or hell idea" that you were raised on. But generally speaking, in the afterlife, there's a Good Place and there's a Bad Place. You're in the Good Place. You're okay, Eleanor. You're in the Good Place.
Eleanor: Well, that's good.
Michael: Sure is. Okay. Let's take a walk. Shall we?
Eleanor: Oh, did I have a purse? No, I'm dead. Right. Okay.
Michael: So this is how it works. The Good Place is divided into distinct neighborhoods. Each one contains exactly 322 people who`ve been perfectly selected to blend together into a blissful harmonic balance.
Eleanor: Do all the neighborhoods look like this?
Michael: No, every neighborhood is unique. Some have warm weather, some cold. Some are cities, some farmland. But in each one, every blade of grass, every ladybug... Every detail has been precisely designed and calibrated[fine-tune] for its residents.
Eleanor: There's a lot of frozen yogurt places.
Michael: Yeah. That's the one thing we put in all the neighborhoods. People love frozen yogurt. I don't know what to tell you. You're gonna have a million more questions, I know. For right now, better grab a seat. Movie's about to begin.
Michael: Hello, everyone! And welcome to your first day in the afterlife! You were all, simply put, good people. But how do we know that you were good? How are we sure? During your time on Earth, every one of your actions had a positive or a negative value, depending on how much good or bad that action put into the universe. Every sandwich you ate, every time you bought a magazine... Every single thing you did had an effect that rippled out[produce ripple effect, in which one event produces effects that, in turn, produce further effects] over time. And ultimately created some amount of good or bad. You know how some people pull into[move a car to] the breakdown lane[a lane along the side of a road, where cars stop for an emergency] when there's traffic? And they think to themselves, "Ah, who cares? No one's watching." We were watching. Surprise! Anyway. When your time on Earth has ended, we calculate the total value of your life using our perfectly accurate measuring system. Only the people with the very highest scores, the true cream of the crop[the best among its kind]우유에서 가장 맛있는 성분인 크림을 분리해내는 걸 연상시키는 표현이에요!!! 그래서 "cream"자체가 똑같이 [the best among its kind]의 의미로 쓰이곤 합니다!!! 그리고 "cream of the crop"은 그냥 조금 더 긴 표현이라고 생각하면 돼요.ㅇㅅㅇ 농산물은 곧잘 그중에서 특상품으로 나온 것들을 구분하곤 하잖아요?! 그걸 표현할 때 "cream"이라는 표현을 많이 쓰다보니 굳어진 표현같아요, get to come here. To the Good Place. What happens to everyone else, you ask? Don't worry about it. The point is, you are here because you lived one of the very best lives that could be lived. And you won't be alone. Your true soul mate is here too. That's right. Soul mates are real. One of the other people in your neighborhood is your actual soul mate. And you will spend eternity together. So, welcome to eternal happiness! Welcome to the Good Place! Sponsored by "otters holding hands while they sleep". You know the way you feel when you see a picture of two otters holding hands? That's how you're gonna feel every day.
Eleanor: So who is in the Bad Place, that would shock me?
Michael: Well, Mozart, Picasso, Elvis, basically every artist ever, uh... Every U.S. president, except Lincoln.
Eleanor: That sounds about right. What about Florence Nightingale?
Michael: That was close, but, no. She didn't make it.
Eleanor: Wow, all those amazing people down there, it just seems so hard to believe.
Michael: Again, it's an incredibly selective system. Most people don't make it here. But you, a lawyer who got innocent people off death row[a prison section where prisoners sentenced to death wait for execution]... You're special, Eleanor. And, by the way, welcome to your new home. Oh, it's perfect, isn't it? You see, in the Good Place, every person gets to live in a home that perfectly matches his or her true essence.
Eleanor: Cool. So I guess that's why my house, for example, is this adorable little cottage, whereas other people might have homes that are bigger. Like that one.
Michael: Exactly. Oh, I'm so happy you get it.
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